Grief is a storm that can arrive unexpectedly, leaving devastation in its wake. It’s a journey none of us choose, yet it’s one we all must navigate at some point. For me, that journey began abruptly when I lost my sister Sherol. Her sudden passing was a seismic shift in my world, altering my life in ways I never imagined.
Sherol was more than just a sister to me; she was my confidante, my cheerleader, and my best friend. We shared countless memories, laughter, and dreams. The day she left us felt like a part of me went with her. The shock and disbelief were overwhelming, and I found myself grappling with an array of emotions that seemed impossible to manage.
The day I found out, the grief was all-consuming and I felt lost in a sea of sorrow, struggling to keep my head above water. It was during this time that I began to learn some vital truths about dealing with grief. I’d like to share these insights with you, in the hope that they might provide some solace and guidance if you find yourself in a similar storm.
Allow Yourself to Feel
Grief is not something you can neatly package away; it demands to be felt. One of the most important lessons I learned was to give myself permission to feel. I tried to be strong, but it was crucial to acknowledge my own pain. Letting out a scream when I heard the news was the release I needed from the pain I felt. I say to you cry if you need to, scream if you must, and know that it’s okay to not be okay.
Seek Support
In those dark moments, it can be tempting to isolate yourself, but leaning on others was essential. I found immense comfort in the support of my family and friends. Talking about Sherol, sharing memories, and even just having someone sit with me in silence made a significant difference. Don’t be afraid to reach out and let others be there for you.
Honor Their Memory
Finding ways to honor Sherol’s memory is a source of healing for me. I’ve started a scrapbook filled with photos, text messages, and mementos that captured her spirit. Celebrating her life, rather than just mourning her loss is helping me feel connected to her even though she is gone. Whether it’s through a memorial, a dedicated space in your home, or continuing a tradition, find what feels right for you.
Embrace Your Own Healing Journey
Grief is not a one-size-fits-all experience. Each person’s journey is unique, and it’s important to find what works for you. For me, writing is my therapeutic outlet. Pouring my thoughts and emotions onto paper helps me process my grief. Others might find solace in art, music, or nature. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, so give yourself the grace to heal in your own way.
Take Care of Yourself
In the midst of grief, self-care can often take a backseat. However, taking care of your physical and mental well-being is crucial. Simple acts like eating well, getting enough sleep, and engaging in gentle exercise can make a big difference. I found that mindfulness and meditation helps calm my mind and provided a sense of peace during turbulent times.
Be Patient with Yourself
Lastly, be patient with yourself. Grief doesn’t follow a linear path; it ebbs and flows, and that’s okay. There will be good days and bad days. Some moments will feel almost normal, while others might bring the pain rushing back. Allow yourself the time and space to heal, and remember that it’s a journey, not a destination.
Losing Sherol is difficult, but through the pain, I’ve found strength I didn’t know I had. Grief has taught me to cherish the moments we have, to love deeply, and to hold onto hope even in the darkest times. If you’re navigating the storm of grief, know that you are not alone. There is no right way to grieve, only your way. Embrace your journey, honor your loved one, and find the light that still exists amidst the darkness.
A Note to Sherol
Dear Sherol,
There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about you. Your laughter, your kindness, your unwavering support – they all left an indelible mark on my heart. Losing you so suddenly was a pain I never imagined, but I want you to know that your spirit continues to guide me through the darkest days.
I miss our talks, our laughs and the way you always talk about moments when we were growing up. Even though you’re not here physically, I feel your presence and I now hear your voice in my voice when I review my podcast. I celebrated you by wearing red, your favorite color on vacation.
Writing this blog, sharing my journey, and helping others navigate their own grief is one way of honoring you. You always encouraged me to follow my passions and I hope I make you proud.
Thank you for being an incredible sister.
With all my love,
Beverley
